Exponentially fresh.

It sure feels like Springtime out here in Brooklyn today, and I don’t know about you, but when the seasons change I get a serious urge to update my wardrobe. So what better way to do this than hit a sample sale? 10.Deep is having theirs this upcoming weekend at their Brooklyn headquarters on Jay St. in DUMBO…you already know what to do.

This is going to deviate from my normal topics of choice (do I really have a norm at this site though?) but hear me out. I’m about to play myself and put my thirst on blast for a second but it has a purpose.

This afternoon on the J Train I laid my eyes upon one of the most attractive men I’ve seen all year. There’s the usual Puerto Rican/Dominican guy with a fresh lineup and that sparkle in his eye that will turn my head for a few seconds, but this was so next level. Dude was this perfect mix of light skinndedness (yeah, I made that a word, so what?), type Asian eyes, tall and lean without looking like a skeleton, with this simplistic style that just suited him so well. Retro Jordans were also helping his case. I don’t usually turn into a train creeper but I couldn’t look away. It was so bad in fact that I took the train an extra stop just to give myself time to muster up the balls to compliment his kicks. I’ve never done some absurd shit like that in my life. What drove me to that point?

The thirst.

The thirst is real. The thirst is insatiable. The thirst takes self respecting, logical people and turns them into fiends for a force over which they have no control: mother nature.

I recall telling my mother once that if I ever had a kid it would likely be an accident, and have been known to refer to my future accidental seedling as “Lil Shorty,” which besides being completely indicative of the fact that I should never have kids has also turned into an inside joke with a good friend. Amanda as a girl with career goals, drive, a butt that still fits in single digit-size jeans, and no budget to buy a whole new wardrobe should baby weight come into my life, does not have room for a kid in my near future. Mother nature does not understand these things. The thirst does not understand these things. As I stole glances at Mr. Model as I’m going to call him from here on out, all I could think about was how I didn’t even care if I heard him speak, I didn’t care what his name was, I didn’t give a fuck about anything except that animal instinct to just mate with him, for the sake of creating more gorgeous looking, light skinnded, slanty-eyed little baby boys that will one day turn heads on the J train as well. I just wanted the cycle of life to be filled with more people that looked like this beautiful man.

That’s a bit of an exaggeration (or not, I’ll never tell!), but my point comes down to this: at the end of the day human beings are still a part of that crazy ass animal kingdom and we have natural urges that we can’t control. Allow me to take this argument a step further.

Recently a few people I know have been facing relationship trouble. What relationship doesn’t have trouble? Monogamy is problematic and stressful, especially with these thirst-inducing Mr. Model types riding around on these trains. Why is it problematic and stressful? Because it goes against animal instinct. Marriage isn’t something we are destined to get involved in because nature dictates it, rather it’s a social norm. Now of course the world isn’t about to embark on a sexual free-for-all, and I like a good date with a guy who seems like he could be a long-term catch just as much as the next girl, but I can’t help but wonder how much more stress free life would be if this boyfriend/girlfriend, fiancee, wifey, boo, wife/husband shit didn’t exist. I’m no Biologist or expert on mammal behavior, but is there any other creature out there that throws the proverbial ring on the opposite gender? Why do we burden ourselves with something many of us put so much priority upon, but which isn’t necessary to our lives?

Furthermore, why do we fault our significant others for their thirst? So what if your man glances at the Mila Kunis lookalike walking through SoHo while you’re having a little shopping excursion together? So what if your girl did a double take at the guy driving in the car next to yours on the highway? Sure, it’s a matter of respect for the person you’re with, but at the same time they obviously don’t mean it to cause harm, they’re just victims of the thirst.

Mr. Model brought out that animalistic thirst in me. Sure, I pointed at his kicks, gave him the thumbs up, smiled as he accepted my silent compliment, and fronted like I was actually a sane, normal woman who didn’t want to follow him to wherever he was headed. But in my head I didn’t care about those kicks at all, I just wanted to vent as much thirst as possible without actually talking to dude, since my half assed hangover and kicks/t-shirt combo was far from attractive and I was not about to play myself. For the love of the deities if you think you are Mr. Model who was riding the J Train, got off at Chambers, unfortunately did not transfer to the uptown 4, 5, or 6 around 5pm today and were carrying a backpack and a garment bag which was hopefully empty with the fantasy intention of you taking off the clothes you were wearing and putting those in the bag because they, like relationships, are technically useless to your life when the weather is this nice anyway, you should immediately hit that “Contact” link at the top of the page and hit me up so I can take you to this all night loft party in Bushwick tonight. I had an extra ticket. It’s waiting for you.

Thirrrrssssssstttt. It’s real.

Jasmine Solano gets decked out in Rocawear and spits over some instrumentals we all know and love. I know this wasn’t the point of the video, but I love her nails. Anyway…want more Jasmine? She’ll be spinning alongside Stretch Armstrong at Santos on Friday. Flyer below.

See that girl? She’s 10 years old. Yeah, go figure. I’ll let the words I dropped over at Global Grind tell it this time.

[READ] How Young Is Too Young To Be A Professional? (via GlobalGrind)

You know what producers do? They smoke weed and work on MPC’s and Maschines and shit. Kind of like they’re doing in this video. I like how this is filmed. And oh yeah, Flud released those BPM watches and they also function as calculators. Fashionable nerd shit. Remember back in the day they had those watches that you could also use to control TV’s, and you’d fuck around in class and turn the TV on with your watch and the teacher would be all confused? Yeah, those were the days.

Oh say word Hennessy is teaming up with a graffiti artist (namely NY’s KAWS) to put out a limited edition bottle? I’m sold. I’ll be copping one of these when they drop in September ($29.99 and each bottle is individually numbered). Because we all know I’m a sucker for Hennessy and graffiti. Matter fact, I’m feeling kind of thirsty now…

3D printing seems to be becoming a serious reality, as two designers teamed up and created the first fully 3D printed bikini. Well damn. Plastic, no-sewing-required clothing. Futuristic fly shit.

[READ] Futuristic Fashion: The 3D Bikini (via ThatsEnuff)

One of my biggest gripes about the streetwear scene, or whatever the hell they call it, is that there aren’t enough options for ladies. And if there are some choices, they usually don’t end up being girly enough for me. What can I say? I’m more of a stilettos than sneakers girl. I’m a former cheerleader, what do you expect?  But accessories? Now that I can fuck with. Bags, backpacks, sunglasses, hats, watches…bring it on. So I’m pretty amped that 10.DEEP is launching a line of accessories this summer, and they’re kicking it off with the duffel bags and backpacks seen above. Duffel bags make it possible for me to carry my dirty laundry to Virginia in a more fashionable manner than a typical laundry bag would, so they’re a staple in my life. Their bags also have a little finishing touch – a dugout area complete with a ceramic cigarette so the smokers feel, uh…more secure? Iunno. They call this the Prop 19. Nice.

This line will be available for purchase later this month. Keep your eyes out for these!

Meet the new DKNY Women fragrance. It looks like any other perfume – it’s in some little bottle, it’s way overpriced ($36 for 1oz. at Sephora), and you’re going to smell it and either like it or dislike it. Therein lies my point though.

When you  pick up a bottle of perfume or cologne that you are considering buying, you open, sniff, spray on one of those paper things to look like you know something about what you’re doing, sniff that, get overwhelmed with odor, and then either conclude that you like or dislike it, correct? If you smell more than five everything also starts to blur together, but maybe that’s me. But you probably don’t think to yourself in your head that what you just smelt (don’t hate, it sounded good, you grammatically correct task squads. I can’t do that shit anywhere else!) has an essence of Bergamot (it’s a type of orange, apparently) with a touch of Asian tiger lily in the after notes.

Get thee fuck out of here.

So I open my gmail this evening (let me not try to pretend like that isn’t when I woke up today, #PartyLikeABlogStar), and I see the usual email blast from Sephora. I’m a huge fan of this store, I know that’s not very Hip Hop of me to say, but dammit that place is a ton of fun. I always open the emails. At the bottom there was this thing about the new DKNY fragrance for women, “inspired by the glamour of New York City” that “energizes with a blend of mandarin and vodka.”

Mandarin and…what? Vodka? And it “energizes”? So you’re trying to tell me to spritz myself with the perfume equivalent of a Red Bull and vodka, pretty much? I had to click. I wanted to read comments seeing what the glamour of New York City felt like.

Sephora comments are never enough fun. Everyone takes those damn ratings seriously, but there were some gems. One lady said it smelled just like a fragrance they had released back in like 2001, aka they repackaged the same smell but tried to tell consumers it was something different. Which, actually, is a great parallel to NYC’s rather energetic and glamorous fashion scene, which as we all know just repackages looks from a decade or two ago, makes them skankier, and then calls them the new “in” trend to be wearing.

Sephora’s website describes the new DKNY Woman to smell like this:

Like a bold and sexy kiss in a cab, this fragrance harnesses the energy of New York City and the spirited people on its streets. Its three accords, each light and exhilarating, are just the right mix of urban style and big-city attitude. 

The scent opens with an energizing accord of mandarin oranges and chilled vodka. As the fragrance dries down, accords designed around the concepts of intoxication and sensuality fuse, electrifying a scent that’s at once fun, fast, and real. 

The sleek bottle stands tall with a smooth, modern look that calls to mind New York’s glimmering skyscrapers.

Blood Oranges, Mandarin Oranges, Chilled Vodka, Red Thyme, Vine-Ripe Tomato Leaves, Wet Water Lilies, Green Coral Orchids, Yellow Daffodils White Birch, Tulip Tree Wood.

Sexy. Dynamic. Intoxicating.

I wanna break this down. First and foremost, bold and sexy kisses in cabs in New York City, I’m willing to bet, usually happen when actually intoxicated with real vodka. The next morning you probably don’t want to relive this by spraying yourself with its fragrance. The spirited people on New York City streets, I’m also assuming, are the crackheads you walk by as you try to hail a cab in which to partake in your vodka-fueled backseat makeouts. I definitely don’t want to smell like a New York City crackhead, but I can’t think of anyone more spirited than they are. One of these days I’ll post the video DJ Big Ben and I have of my favorite crackhead ever just to prove it to you. Urban style and big city attitude these days is summed up in two words: douchey and ignorant. If style is the reincarnation of hammer pants for $15 at Forever 21 or mismatching as many articles of clothing as possible and moving to Williamsburg to be a Hipster, I’ll pass. And if big city attitude is what people upload videos to Worldstar Hip Hop (by the way, that’s totally worth watching…not really, but it kind of is) about, I don’t want to smell like that either. They also specify it smells of chilled vodka, which in my experience smells just like warm vodka. But I digress. Just another one of those word ploys to make it sound all “oh you fancy, huh?”

This is where it gets really good: As the fragrance dries down, accords designed around the concepts of intoxication and sensuality fuse, electrifying a scent that’s at once fun, fast, and real. This is the fragrance industry’s way of saying “we know you’re going to wear this to a shitty, overcrowded Top 40 club where you will pay too much for a VIP table and get white girl wasted and go home with some guy you just met.” In my experience, when intoxication and sensuality “fuse,” women get fun, they give it up fast, and then wake up the next day with real problems. I’m also convinced that “dries” was supposed to be “dies” because it just sounds funny. Fail for the fancy word writers. Either way, again, this is an experience I do not want to smell like.

The only thing the description really got right and made sound appealing was that the bottle resembled the glimmering skyscrapers of New York City. I’ll give it that. The new joints they’ve been building really do kind of look like that. And as much as I’d rather have a nice looking bottle lying around my crib than an ugly one, it’s still irrelevant because this makes it seem like I’ll smell like the women Jay-Z was talking about in that third verse of “Empire State of Mind.”

“city of sin, it’s a pity on a whim, good girls gone bad, the city’s filled with them, mami took a bus trip, now she got her bust out, everybody ride her, just like a bus route”

Yeah, that pretty much sums up DKNY Woman in a nutshell. Honestly, I wanna get a whiff of this shit, just to see if it smells good…but really, even in Manhattan, and in glamorous parts of it at that, you can buy a vodka and orange juice for cheaper if you’d like to smell of mandarin and chilled firewater. Just sayin’. All of these fragrance descriptions that are meant to sell this shit are ridiculous, but this one takes the cake. At least we know Lady Gaga is trying to make a statement with her blood/semen bottled scent, but I feel like the people behind DKNY Woman actually think NYC smells like something a person would want to smell like. They clearly haven’t been to Chinatown on a summer day.

Well this isn’t quite a piece of news that I expected to wake up and see. Afrika Bambaataa and the Universal Zulu Nation (UZN) have teamed up with clothing company C1RCA Select for some Spring 2011 pieces. Two sneakers (a high and mid-top) and a t-shirt are in the works. The press release doesn’t say much of anything about if the proceeds of the apparel will benefit the UZN’s work, but I’m sure there’s some sort of deal going on there. The real question is do people think this is hot? I’m not a sneaker fanatic like that but…these honestly aren’t too bad. I like the high top joints. Mids and I don’t get along so well these days.