Exponentially fresh.

Another edition of what’s happening in the world at this very moment according to the most recent twitpics on Twitter.

Via @RealChuckie of Toronto: “Why yo Polo Photoshoped?” [sic]….I just had a conversation with someone about fake Polo recently, so this is kind of funny. Let me find out bootleg Polo shit is running rampant in these streets.

Via @kgk092, it appears that somewhere in the world, someone is using upĀ  mass amounts of their time doing something even more ridiculous than playing Farmville. Welcome to the digital world of Aqua Pets?!?!?

Apparently @DJ_ProdiJay made this for one of her friends. I wish I could draw that well. Me with a paint brush is a little bit like Eli Porter rapping.

This might be the creepiest shit ever. The twitter account @xxTeamChloe posted this. More than once. Many times. In fact that’s just about all they ever tweet. It’s their ode to Chloe Grace Moretz, better known as the little girl who, for lack of a better word, kicked a lot of ass in the movie Kick Ass. I’d love to know who is behind these creepy ass Twitter fan pages. I’m sure it’s a bunch of tweenyboppers with too much free time, an inability to recognize the concept of obsession, and who are hoping to get some attention from these random ass celebrities. But still. This is creepy.

@KariJobe wants you to play a little game of “guess what that is?”. My thoughts? A slice of Angel Food Cake the family dog peed on. More perplexing to me than her little game was figuring out who she was – she had 70k+ twitter followers and I had never heard her name. I figured out why though – she’s a Christian music singer from Texas. Note to rappers – want to make money making music? Dead the profanity and praise God. Is the Catholic Church on the Fortune 500 list? It should be.

I’ve been having issues with the Twitpic Tuesdays posts thanks to a WordPress glitch on my end. For some reason eventually the images show up blank on the page and, well, I have no idea why. I’m not a blogging platform nerd like that. So I’m going to try making this post from a different browser and see if that fixes it. So once again – what’s happening in the world at this very moment, according to the five most recent twitpics posted to Twitter.

Via @Bruna_bt in Brazil: apparently somewhere in the world a Puma handbag actually is a hot commodity. Def not my style.

Via @swaggerastic: her with one of her fans. This is not swag. You know what this says? People have too much time on their hands. Maybe she should read up on my search for swag’s synonym to pass some time instead.

Via @tequila_expre: I wonder if there’s an occasion for this large mariachi figure sitting outside the Commercial and Tourist Services building of Guadalajara. I’d love to know more about this.

Roses mean amor, even in Guatemala, as @Fernando_8D professes his love of Gabi. That’s cute. Lots of summer love flying around right now.

#StuffWhitePeopleLike: Collages. (Via @sconokabouters).

Not feeling too great right now, so short on words…if you’re wondering what the hell this is, read the last one for the explanation.

I don’t know where this is at, but somewhere this is happening. Impressive. And probably pretty intense if you are where that’s at. via @TommyGunner

If someone bought me one of these right now I’d be hella fucking happy. Pesto in a jar? Espresso? Olives? Count me in. via @ItalianCooking, which is actually the Twitter page for All Things Italian, a specialty shop in Montana. Can’t say I’ll ever go there but their twitpic says they ship these nice gift baskets out :)

@TheRealScarfone tells us that @EscapeMovement is taking over his closet. I didn’t know what Escape Movement was, but turns out it’s a Canadian streetwear brand. Interesting.

I don’t understand German (or whatever this is), but I’m pretty sure I read something about pilsner and sitting in a garage in the explanation to this twitpic. Which would explain why it looks like drunk fuckery. “We zitten hier in de garage te genieten van het weer met een koude pilsener! #dinsdag” via @Patrickinia

Like so many other young men around the world, @CutThrotMontana just got “so wavy.”

And there you have it. The world news, as brought to you by twitpics, at 3:45pm.

I think I’m going to start a new thing every week called “Twitpic Tuesday.” It’s becoming more and more of a trend that twitter is used as a legitimate source of up-to-date information. News outlets are citing it as a source, VladTV thrives off of screenshots of “twitter beef” between rap pseudo-celebs, and it has pretty much been the way that I have found out that musicians have died for the last two years. I’m going to combine this notion with my extreme love of all things random to come up with this: let’s find out what’s happening in the world via the five most recent twitpics posted to twitter. I’ll be searching twitpics, not plixi or whatever the hell else is being used, simply on the basis of alliteration being visually attractive to me.

So, 1) if the theory I hear that people don’t like to read anymore is true, and 2) if a picture is worth a thousand words, then 3) let’s find out what a gwaan in the world today. Through random ass people’s twitpics.

(via @elekeychion) Somewhere in Japan, something is happening. Actually there is still a nuclear disaster going on. I’m pretty sure this has nothing to do with that, but I can’t read Japanese. Twitpic fail.

(via @ilyCNE) This morning, a teen who attends Caledonia H.S. and is a Lil Wayne fan woke up to 98 text messages. That is pretty impressive – even my phone isn’t that bad. I think I woke up to 12 today.

(via @BeHeeddine) This shit blew my mind. I think it’s the lyrics to the song I found at the download link that this person posted along with the twitpic. Peep the song here. I want to say it’s in Arabic, but some of that looks too French in spelling to be Arabic. I’m guessing this is some odd dialect of North African origin. Maybe Moroccan. The song is fascinating though. Step your world music game up and peep that. This guy’s bio says he’s “supertramp” though, and it makes me wonder if the song lyrics are something extra creepy and loose. Like their version of a “What That Thang Smell Like.”

(via @VaxWong) Elsewhere in Japan, we learn that just like American young women, Japanese young women also take pictures of themselves. Except their cameras look better and the shot ends up way more artsy than the classic “BBM pose.”

(via @LSMasculinoES) Someone please tell me what this is, because it got over 12k views on twitpic. Apparently Luan Santana is a Brazilian singer and country music composer. He has two platinum records under his belt and is allegedly one of the most popular artists on the internet. Say word. Actually, let’s peep his music and see what the Brazilians are listening to these days.

Hm.

Anyway, that was your “what’s happening in the world?” update via the always public twitpic service. Careful what you twitpic, you might end up here.